this just in ... hamster on piano

I always hated when my mom put popcorn on the piano. Especially kettle corn. Every time I finished a piece she'd make me get up and tune the strings again. But she had such bad performance anxiety - she could only practice while I was lying on the piano eating popcorn.

I was trained to rely on popcorn to develop my skills as a pianist from a young age as well. In this picture, I'm sitting on 6 lbs of popcorn really practicing. The grease was burning through my diaper and it was really hard, but my love of the arts prevailed and I persevered.

this just in ... puppies

Webcam chat at Ustream

G'damnit ... why did I start a blog and not a live puppy cam? Trumped again.

Does anyone have a webcam I can buy for cheap? I just ... I want you to be able to start watching my parrot, I guess. Can you call me if she acts up? Thanks.

PS - if I were to start a live stream of me and my friends sleeping together wearing furs it would be called porn and I'd be scandalized and probably fired from my job ... that's just not fair. Puppies get away with everything.

My thoughts on the most bobbliest of bobblehead models

I should feel bad since she clearly has multiple sclerosis, but ... well ... I don't. I never thought she'd get a job after being fired as Gwen Stefani's harajuku body-double. Boy was I wrong.



Should plastic bobbleheads really be drinking martinis? Or maybe that's hot wax in that glass ... she probably took it from the set of "Living La Vida Loco" - (she was in that right?) I hope that it will cure her of the blood deficit in her legs...



She is a phoenix rising though ... b/c I heard she passed away when she got tasered and fell from that building earlier this week

but she's still around cuz I think I saw her riding one of her bikes around MePo (The Meat Depot) yesterday


I wonder how much she gets paid to be an Easter egg at children's parties?

I used to have Easter egg hunts for my birthday, but I bet we wouldn't have been able to afford Laura Hollins ... oh oops I mean Aggy though.

But Aggy is sooo original ... there has never been anyone like her before!









She's made us all stronger ... and sales at Claire's / The Icing have really peeked which is great for my stocks!!!

Can you spot our potential VP?

Mother?

Moose hunter?

Maverick...

Here we go again ...

=

Asians Performing Magic at the Olympics

No, I'm not referring to the 13-year-old wonder goddesses of China. This is not a public service announcement about child labor gymnastics.

However, I'm appalled that several Asians seem to be zooming through the Olympics by utilizing various magical powers. This isn't Hogwarts ... it's Beijing. Where does integrity remain if not in a communist nation?

Here are some prime examples of Asian Magicians at the Olympics. Please note, that clearly levitation is a learned art in schools - along with penmanship.







(As you can see, this isn't the first year the Asians delved into dark arts for victory at any cost.)

Maybe the Americans should spend less time blowing coke and more time training with David Blaine and Criss Angel - or maybe that's where the habit comes from?




I will try and update this as Asians continue to call upon sorcery and ancient trickery to conquer the games.

Welcome Home

I wasn't so sure about this place until I saw the bottom-left photograph. That kitty sure is cute! I wonder if I get the mouse too? I kind of hope the place doesn't already include mice. And cheap China Town food?! Who knew?! I'm so tired of paying $5 for dumplings! Visit soon ... and don't mind the piss in the hallway ... it dries before you know it.

I found out last night that the assistant before me lives on the UES in a studio where she shares a bathroom in a hallway with a man who "entertains" frequent "visitors." I need to seriously look into this whole whore thing I keep hearing about ... a truly beneficial and lucrative business. No babies included, please.


$1495 / 1br - ***Beautifully Renovated small 1 br - 2 rooms studio-asap*** (Nolita / Bowery) (map)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: yelena@hartdiamond.com
Date: 2008-07-29, 8:41AM EDT


All renovated bright small 1 br - big bedroom with closet and window.
Separate kitchen withroom for kitchen table , all brand new appliances,hardwood floors,
full new bathroom. Steps from trains and cheap China Town Food.
Also other studios and 1 brs available from $1500 and up in LES & East Village.
Call & see it today ----646-645-9833-------



pell at bowery google map yahoo map

There's always this place if the "gem" above doesn't come through: $1695 / 1br - SCREAMING FUNSHINE!/largeBRIGHTWINDOWS/COOL-pre-war/new kitch&bath/lau (East Village)

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